Little of me

I have been drawing as far as I remember .... This is my private garden and although I never had the courage to post anything, too afraid of what people may comment, I have recently realised that it does not matter.
I will never be able to go forward if I do not kill this odd habit to look over my shoulder, and shudder at the thought that someone might think little or ill of me.

Drawing is freedom, it eradicates my fears and neutralise the ghost hovering about me.

Every single sketch es are mirror of my soul, my mood. Little smudge of me.Enjoy them, discovering them is discovering me as well.

Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time, four magical world that open an entire universe, where imagination runs wild and free, without limits and boundaries. But this is not all.Fairy tales are a medium to transfer wisdom and philosophy through time and generation. The utterances of Utopia, dealing with a wide range of topics, from women condition to politics, wars and human conditions.
Diving into worlds were King, Queens and princesses tell the tales of ancient times. The eternal battle of Good Versus Evil.
I revisited this marvellous literary genre, the richness of it. It provides inspiration and under the pretense of simple entertainment, it hides treasures of sensuality, cruelty and tales of courage. I have created a variation on the themes of the Fairy Tales. Reading the stories made me wonder what happened to the characters we lovingly nursed with our imagination as children, where do they go once we have entered adulthood and no longer believe?If we think of religion, having faith gives life and shapes to something.Breathing life and faith into these characters may have given them the will to carry on surviving, to fight to exist.

Parallel Universe....

Couldn't help it, I had to put my eyes and my head into the very good "Black House". Born from the talent of two authors collaborating: King and Straub. Right after I read "The Talisman" that re-introduced the parallel universes in my head, I took the trip again toward a world not ruled by technology but my magic. What state would be the world today without the technology we have now.... No computer, no Facebook or Twitter; no mobile phones.... Would we be still gathering at dusk, telling each other stories, passing tradition from one voice to one ear, one generation to the next. Would we know the name of our neighbor and the name of their children. Would we show more respect for life in general and to our world in particular if technology has not yet seen the light of day.
What did Technology and AI achieved today, I am just talking in terms of communication and connection. The paradoxical achievement that put you isolated in front of your PC, disconnected from the world around you, beings from flesh and bones, to connect and communicate with disembodied being that answers to the name of blast-O-3648, Pinksatin or Fakerwhatever? Your address book is now digital and identities are a blur. One things that remained to be cherished though, is the absence of social status. You are what you write, nameless, genderless, status-less. It gives you the whole impression to be part of a whole, a digital community. Link with people that would not give you the time of the day in other circumstances and also the ability to "read people thoughts", become acquainted with even the most out of reach character.
In the digital universe, you can befriend "stars" on the human level (from Actors, Writers,Big shot designers to CEO of big corps ); no social or VIP barrier to hold you back, the simple magic of communication.... in the safety of your home.
Is that what it is all about: connection but with safety.... The conviction that no harm will come to you if you take the chance to talk to strangers in the limitless digital streets.
Why can't we apply the courtesy rules of the digital universe to our everyday reality? Maybe because the job will be too big, and sometimes it is easier to go forward and start anew than mend the past....Who am I really in this big digital ocean, but a drop of thought that may not make it to the ground of any body's consciousness. What I know is that I am trying hard to stay myself, maybe embellishing it a little, but still true, in the digital universe as well as in my "real" life.

Yesterday upon the stairs....

'Yesterday upon the stairs, I saw a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today, I wish, I wish he'd go away" This text stuck with me from my first creative writing lecture. I thought about it tonight because I have people that are not really there on my garden wall. This is not a real mystery, merely a mechanical erosion phenomenon, nevertheless it does add magic to my night strolls in the garden.
Once upon a time, I felt observed, not by unfriendly eyes, but the feeling was a wee odd and slightly uncomfortable. I stared in front of me, first looking far in the dark corners of the garden, but besides the swift movement of the "Dodson Wabbits" (a story for another time!), I couldn't see anything disturbing. I shook my head and looked again, this time not so far, eager to shake the uneasy feeling and get back to my own thoughts.That's when I saw them.
First I could only make out eyes, then a full child like face. A beautiful girl that could have been drawn by a Gustave Dore in the early 19th century. She bore a proud yet charming expression, and her all attitude just beckoned to me, she was trying to attract attention. On the top of her lovely cherubic face was a sort of Phrygien hat...I decided she was the 'child of the French revolution' maybe Eponine from 'The Miserable' this sweet girl in love with Marius during the insurrection called 'La Commune' in 1871. She could have been this enthralling voice from the score, singing to the night:
" Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head"...
Forever engraved on my wall, this young beauty's spirit left a residual image behind her. Did she have a sad story to tell? Did she felt love and not been loved in returned....All that is left is that face. A face you cannot see unless you acknowledge her presence. How long would I see her? I do not know. What I know is that there is a story to tell, it just have to mature in my head, and I will set it free.

TRAFFIC JAM...

It is a maelstrom in my head tonight, too much inside, too much wants to come out and unfortunately, all at once.
I will discipline myself, spank my inner muppet and get on with what matters....what matters really in our lives.In mine, the all irony of it. I have always been scared to be alone, I do blossom when I am around people, but paradoxically, it is in my loneliness that I am the most creative, witty or even happy. Ironic, because, although this was my greatest fear, I have spent my whole life on my own, and even now surrounded by partner and family, I feel and am alone.
I thought it was a curse, but I misunderstood it, it is altogether a rare gift to be alone and enjoy this moment, when you are face to face with yourself, with your thoughts and your mind. In spite of the fact that I am my worse judge and executioner, I can finally let myself go and savour some of my weird moments in the numerous in the crowded mind of mine.
Of the aspects I love most about myself (and that I spend most of the time hiding ) is my deep childishness, along with my rebellious tendencies.
I laugh my head off in front of Buffy, quote their silly lines, spend a lot of time watching scary movies (vampire and werewolves being my favourite from Dracula to Gingersnaps, Dog soldier or Wolfen) and can pass easily from King, Koontz and Pullman to Morrison or Shakespeare!
SF and fantasy are undeniably my drug , cannot live without the stuff.
I have a sort of Romantic Goth meets magic realism aspect that I embrace in private (You wouldn't catch me dead with black lace over my clothes!). Musically it is even worse. Although I love Jazz, Blues, Folk and Indie, surprising voices such as Tracy Chapman, Ella Fitzgerald, Ayo or Jill Scott for the female voices and a Ben Harper, Louis Armstrong, Johnny Farmer or Elmore James I can also fall for Evanescence, Led Zepplin or Paramore.
The lyrics also attract my attention , especially when it comes to Rap. There, my hearts goes to Eminem. That will be for another post as the culture of orature and verbal battle thrills me!

Really, how can I sort out to put all these tastes, often in contradiction with themselves, in the same package without causing a certain congestion?
I say "embrace all aspects of yourself, because each facets IS you and compose your being". However complex I can be, I have to live with myself. If sometimes I am disappointed about being far from the person I would like to be (brighter, faster, stronger, wittier and a long string of adjectives that I do not have right now....) I shake myself up and remember that.... really "NOBODY understands quantum theory" Thanks Mr Feynman for making that clear

A bird told me not to give up my dreams and gather the courage to get out there.
When I create something, may it be drawing, written or molded, it makes me feel like being an instrument. I always have the odd impression that I am a simple medium, and the line or the paint use me to tell their own stories their own meanings.
I like this sensation of not being in control. It does confirm to me that their is somewhere something bigger than us an if we pay attention it will talk to us by any mean available, may it be art, writing or music. This is my own system of belief and I do not impose it on anybody, I just acknowledge that it is there and not everything can be labelled, catalogue and logical.
Having mystery around us is not threatening or scary. Life is mystical, we are just use to it!
So a bird told me not to give up on my dreams and keep going, and that's what I will do....I can only pass the message along.