ODD COUPLE

A thunderstorm was brewing, The day has been very hot and as usual for the gift of a hot day, the price to pay will be dear.He had an odd feeling all day, he gather his evening shopping and took slowly the steps to his little studio..."she is going to come tonight...better have everything ready!" a quick look outside at the nigh settled down, switching on its stars as he switched on his own lights...He heard the shuffle of fabric and turn around.... "You got some salad for tonight?...Do you need some help to set up" "No thanks...what are you doing here?" "I told you I'd come, you did not answer, so I assume it was ok...she looked annoyed...as usual with you, that's your problem, you just don't get me..I am not going away...you left me remember... I decided this time to face her up, anger was starting to take over as usual, with every single one of her visit "You ditched me remember, you told me to leave, you were cold as ice, did not even let me the time to gather my stuff...you throw me out" I was stating to shout at this point "you let me drive 2000 kilometers to see you and the next day...nothing, it was like I was not even there...." I could see she was distraught and that this discussion will take the night...again.... "I NEVER told you to go, you decided to go...and without an explanation...pfttt you left ME" I had already heard that all same line of arguments... Christine and myself kept on revisiting this wound and pick at it until it bled everywhere, I did not know what to think, my feeling were so tangled, a mixture of despair, disgust, anger and sadness...The woman I loved suddenly decided that she did not want me anymore and suddenly after several stay around (friends, family, heartbreak hotels...) I ended up here, in that very small studio, where only my job was keeping me together and she shows up, at my door, a month ago, spurting her venom at my face, accusing me, diminishing me and yet...I still loved her and it hurt. She sat herself down on my worn second hand sofa without being invited, and without looking at me, just pretending to shuffle my magazines and books lying, recklessly balanced in a melange of genres...abandoned flightless paper birds made to make my imagination rise.... she started in an acid tone "I saw you today...at the bus stop, with that co-worker of yours" And so it starts... "I saw the way you looked at her...she looked up to me, her eyes hard, her mouth kept tight in a thin line, that could not be good...not good at all...she knew. "She is just a colleague, we were having a laugh, there is nothing go....." She cut me off...as usual "If a man looked at me this way, I knew he would have an hidden agenda...I have never allowed you nor told you to sleep around, did I?" "We did nothing wrong...we were just talking, and may I remind you that we are not together anymore, you DITCHED me....You told ME to go, to leave....and I did, you have no right..." "This is not the point, is it...I am here and you have some explaining to do...why did you leave, was it the sex?" God this conversation was getting more unbearable by the minute, I turn my eyes away, trying to hold on to any familiar things I had brought back with me in that claustrophobic space....my heart was on the breaking point, I just could not take it...This was not a clean break, but a painful tear, a fleshy and sensitive part of me that was being ripped open, chewed and spat out without any mercy...I looked at her face once more, pale , gently framed by her brown curl, the sweet memory of the dimples whenever she smiled, which were totally inexistent tonight...her face was just inhabited by bitterness, her eyes red and watering over, my own vision became cloudy.... Outside the Thunderstorm was getting more and more fierceful, the sky was being torn apart by light and I, by my lost love...a strange mirrored scene, a complex interaction between inside and outside- my soul and my mind...the storm was getting close, but it was just light play...no relief would come from it, no rain to quench the thirst of the earth after the scorching summer day, no soothing , only electricity in the air. This had to come to an end, this self-destructing impulse.... "You did not answer my question...why have you come? didn't you say that you did not want to see me anymore, that our relationship was just a sterile garden and you just could not blossom with me and all that jazz.You always get very poetic when you are cruel and want to hurt...I heard you. Every single complaint out of your mouth, every words of disdain, Every belittling comments..." She opened her mouth then, but no sound came out of it, I was winning... "For 7 long years, you have played cat and mouth with me, blinding me from what could have been a good life, but now it is enough, you will have no more hold on me, you will not make anymore decision on my behalf...Now leave, you are just not welcome" She stood up still silent, but her mouth was moving, she look so desperate, I almost got fouled and step forward to take her in my arms, but no, I needed to be strong, This had to be the night, I needed to finish it...for my sanity and her sake. Tear were gleaming on her now so stretched and pale skin, her eyes were fading under the veil of tears... "I have met someone, and although you will still be in my thoughts, I need to be freed of you...please leave...now and for good" Without another single word she walked the few steps separating my so called lounge/bedsit and stood by the door.She turned once again toward pleading..."Why did you leave me/!" her voice was so weak, not louder than a whisper.... 'You died Christine, I have never left...but you did" The door suddenly opened and the thunder threw one of its mightiest growl, the blinding light soon follow and I shaded my eyes from the almost purple and blinding fork....She was gone, the steps leading to the studio were deserted...silence followed...I was very thankful for it.